We will…we will…scare you…

So…they tell me that I am supposed to discuss our next story with you.  Candice Greene’s spider story.

I just want you all to know that I don’t want to, but since I am under contractual obligation, I thought I would do things a bit differently.  I am going to put this cassette tape in the boombox. Okay?

Now when I press play, I want you to stomp, then stomp again, and then clap…no really. Stomp for me right now!  Good…yes…very good…it’s amazing what we can teach the living.


(Stomp, stomp, clap)

They will…

(Stomp, stomp, clap)

They will…

(Stomp, stomp, clap)

Bite you!

(Are you stomping and clapping? Good keep going.)

Feel that heart race,

Better pick up the pace,

Keep on running before the spiders kill your face.

They will, they will, bite you!

They will, they will, bite you!


Well now…that has sure gotten me into the spirit.  The spirit of doom and destruction!  Not quite team players, eating their mates and all, but I think spiders are the MVPS of horror.  What creepy castle or dark, gloomy basement is complete without their magnificent webbing and cocoons?

With that in mind, I would like to indicate a shameless advertisement for our Patreon.  Did you know that our cultists esteemed Patreon supporters have the privilege of listening to our episodes a week in advance? Yes, for the low, low price of two dollars you too can hear “I Didn’t Have Arachnophobia, Exactly” before everyone else.  Think about the bragging rights! Think about the warm feelings in your heart to know that you support our diabolical acts of doom and trickery.  We might even give you a few seconds head start when you flee from your own trip to The Grey Rooms…

Ah, but I am getting ahead of myself.  There are other levels of Patronage, but they don’t pay me to talk about it.  Just know that there are bonus episodes involved, and also some sweet, sweet Grey Rooms swag.

I really didn’t want to say that. I hate their swag. I hate their episodes.  I preferred when no one knew what it was that we were doing over here.  But that’s social media for you.

In summary, please throw your money at us so that you can hear the episode this Friday, August 31st.  Otherwise, don’t cry to us when someone spoils what our story is about (spiders).  The public will hear “I Didn’t Have Arachnophobia, Exactly” on Friday, September 7th.  It has the voice talents of Victoria Juan (@VictoriaJuan21 ),  Sarah Ruth (@SarahRuthVoice), and Alistair Mackey (@Alistairmackey ).  Plus some of yours truly and a special guest.

Isn’t that something?

Now go away!

Your optimism is giving me a headache.

Author: The Warden

Despite the myriads of keys in my possession, the identities of the ones they belong to have been burned into my soul. Oh. I also like puggles.